I (Irrelevant) TV

I’m on the 8.11 from Berwick upon Tweed to London and I’ve got as far as page 3 in the Scotsman. What’s the big news? Simon Cowell is to use all his experience as a judge on the X-Factor to become involved in making an ITV drama about to feuding judges on an X=Factor style show. To be called ‘Rock Rivals’ it’s being made by the company that made Footballers Wives. Clearly Michael Grade’s rant a week or so ago about the need to improve the quality of their programmes has fallen on deaf ears. It can only be a matter of time before we have a programme called ‘Paint Wars’, or something equally daft, in which two painters argue who has the quickest drying paint and then the programme follows their experiences while watching it dry.