Be Careful Out There. . .

According to the News of the World Apprentice contestant Ben Clarke, 'swallowed a live goldfish in a sick stunt at a birthday bash'. It was part of a table decoration and he gulped it from a shot glass, 'forcing it to die a horrific death dissolving in stomach acid. He could face an investigation by the RSPCA.'

Mrs H cuts up slugs with scissors. I've advised her to adopt a disguise and lay low for a while.